


Anzu's Secret

by Memory25



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Anzu you should be more concerned with the lizard in your brain, Gen, He watched Aliens vs Predators, Yuugi is actually creeped out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9693725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memory25/pseuds/Memory25
Summary: In which Anzu has a Thing in her brain and it's surprisingly benign for something that could eat her soul and steal her body.





	

When Anzu-chan was 3, she found that a certain part of her brain was occupied. It didn’t really press on anything that was hers, just taking up a small part at the back. It didn’t move, it didn’t hurt, and it didn’t react to anything that happened to her even that time she took a fall off her bike and broke her ankle. Instead, it curled, warm and heavy like a wet ball of cotton wool, breathing in rhythm to her own heartbeat.

She asked Kaa-chan about it, but only got a confused but indulgent sound, “Maa, maa, how interesting.” And then Kaa-chan went back to making her bento, giving her an extra piece of mochi to make friends with.

She later gave it to a boy named Yugi who was crying because he’d tripped and spilled his pudding. They didn’t become friends, but he thanked her and told her she was very ge-ne-rous. It made her feel good, so she considered it a fair trade. Maybe she’ll invite him to play on the swings with her tomorrow.

xXXx

When Anzu-chan was 4, she heard Mi-chan’s Tou-chan had passed away. She didn’t know what it meant, but Kaa-chan said that Mi-chan’s Tou-chan had left for a far away place and could _never_ come back again. She told Kaa-chan not to go away too, otherwise she’d go live with Yugi and his Kaa-chan and Jii-chan. Kaa-chan hadn’t laughed, just told her she’d try not to. Anzu didn’t understand and got mad. If Kaa-chan didn’t want to go then she should just stay!

Kaa-chan wouldn’t promise her, so she went to her room and slammed the door and screamed at her. She kept screaming until the thing in her brain woke up.

It said _shhhhhhhh,_ and then smacked her.

After the shock faded, she stopped screaming but kept crying. The thing didn’t wake up again.

xXXx

When she was 5, Anzu-chan went to see a doctor for a check-up. The doctor said that her brain had un-u-sual growth. Kaa-chan asked if it was dangerous, but Taraka-san said no, just that Anzu-chan was de-ve-lo-ping differently. He said that she might be smarter than normal. Kaa-chan was happy then. Anzu-chan was happier too, but she knew it was the thing in her brain not her that was un-u-sual.

Anzu-chan had learned how to poke with her brain, so she poked the thing and it twitched but it didn’t wake up so she poked it again and again and again and again and again until it woke up and smacked her back but didn’t talk and she poked and it smacked and she poked until it smacked so hard she burst into tears because it hurt and her head hurt and she couldn’t think properly. Kaa-chan thought she’d used her brain too much and asked the doctor to give her me-di-cine which he did and it made her thoughts slo-o-o-ow and he-a-a-v-y. The thing didn’t like that. It squirmed and kept shifting.

Yugi-kun didn’t like it when she talked about the thing in her brain so she didn’t tell him. She played games with him instead.

xXXx

On Anzu-chan’s 6th birthday, she decided she wanted to talk to the thing. It was her birthday and she’d made her wish on her cake so she knew that Kami-sama would grant it. So she poked it until it smacked her and then kept poking it even when it smacked really hard and her eyes turned red from tears and snot was everywhere and then it uncurled and shouted STOP THAT at her.

It was the second time the thing spoke and it sounded like a girl so she was happy that her thing was a girl and she got to talk to her so she said Pleasedtomeetyouit’smybirthdaywouldyouliketobemyfriend?

And the thing tried to curl back and ignore her but she tugged at her tail so she couldn’t and she said _leave me alone_ but she said NO and didn’t let her ignore her again. When the thing tried to push her away it hurt her brain and she started nosebleeding but she ignored it until it _really_ hurt and then the thing stopped pushing and went _sighhhh what do you want Anzu?_

 _Be my friend!_ Anzu-chan demanded, tilting her head back and stuffing tissue into her nose. _You shouldn’t sleep so much!_

 _No,_ the thing replied, _I won’t be your friend. And you should leave me alone if you know what’s good for you._

 _I don’t care!_ Anzu-chan said, _I want you to be my friend!_

And she kept yelling _Be my friend!_ Until the thing told her that they’d talk about it when she was older. But she wouldn’t go back to sleep again so they could talk more. Anzu-chan wasn’t happy and threatened to cry but the thing didn’t care and said it was the best she would get so Anzu-chan cried but the thing _really didn’t care_ and even said that if she kept crying it would go back to sleep again. So Anzu-chan stopped and realised she was sleepy so she went to sleep after brushing her teeth.

xXXx

As Anzu grew older, she learned more about the thing in her brain whom she started calling Himitsu. Himitsu didn’t remember her name and said that she didn’t want one nor would she share Anzu’s name. But Anzu didn’t want to keep calling her The Thing and decided to call her Secret instead, even though she wasn’t really one but nobody except Yugi-kun believed her when she told them anyway. Himitsu was like a secret she didn’t need to keep to remain secret, a little like nobody bothered to ask where Yugi-kun’s father was. She didn’t like her new name but answered when Anzu talked to her. It wasn’t like anybody else but Anzu could talk to her anyway.

Himitsu told her that she knew the future and that magic was real and that certain Big Events would happen to Yugi-kun and her and Jonouchi-kun and Honda-kun and other new friends. Anzu said Jonouchi-kun and Honda-kun were always mean to Yugi-kun so it would really be a Big Event to become friends with them. She didn’t want to befriend them, she complained, they were mean and rude.

Himitsu said _too bad, it’s going to happen anyway. You’ll change your mind when it comes. You don’t have to now, but when the time comes, you will like them enough._

Anzu believed Himitsu but wasn’t happy. She asked Himitsu to tell her something about the future that she would like _now._

_Try and learn to dance._

So Anzu told Kaa-chan she wanted to learn.

Anzu thinks that even if Himitsu had never ever helped her in anything else, just this one suggestion has indebted her for life.

xXXx

When Anzu was a little bit older she told Himitsu that she was lying for the first and only time. Everyone said that magic didn’t exist and that Santa Claus didn’t exist and that those who believed in them were ignorant babies. Anzu wasn’t an ignorant baby and she was sick and tired of being called one especially when nobody except Yugi believed her about Himitsu.

Himitsu had _laughed_ and said _you’ll see_ and then Yugi-kun got a box of golden puzzle pieces from his Jii-chan.

Anzu promised Himitsu not to tell Yugi-kun that the solution was a pyramid, even if she thought 8 years was a really long time. But she knew the value of achieving something on your own merits and Himitsu told her that Yugi-kun deserved to achieve this by himself. She shouldn’t intrude where she wasn’t needed and spoil things for him. Anzu was Yugi-kun’s _best_ friend, so she was very good and didn’t help Yugi-kun with the puzzle even when he suggested it in place of games.

She never did apologize to Himitsu about accusing her of lying, but she promised not to do it again but Himitsu told her to never believe another person completely. She told Anzu to always check facts and not to blindly follow anybody’s opinion. Nobody was perfect and Himitsu didn’t believe in Kami-sama so she told Anzu to always make sure that a statement was fact before believing it. And if she got things wrong to admit her mistake and learn from it.

Anzu didn’t always get things right and didn’t always follow Himitsu’s advice but she got better at it.

xXXx

One day, Anzu called Himitsu her friend. But Himitsu insisted that they were not. Anzu was hurt and said that Himitsu had known her her entire life so how could they not be friends? She wasn’t a little girl anymore and understood that Himitsu’s situation was extremely abnormal and that she had lost her family and she was all alone except for Anzu. She didn’t even have a body to move in and always refused when Anzu offered to share.

Anzu cried for the first time in a very long time and Himitsu didn’t comfort her. They ignored each other for a few days until Anzu started crying at night and Himitsu told her that as much as she liked Anzu their situation was very unconducive for a friendship.

She said that she was like a parasite leeching off Anzu. Her time had passed and yet she was still ‘alive’ which was an incredibly bizarre and troubling situation. And she had the power to severely hurt Anzu, even to the point of taking over her body and consuming her mind. She reminded Anzu of the time she had smacked Anzu so badly that she started bleeding from her nose and said that the situation could have been much, much worse. Anzu could have died if Himitsu had continued.

But she didn’t, argued Anzu, because Himitsu was a good person who didn’t want to hurt her!

Himitsu sneered and said that she had morals but frankly didn’t really give much of a shit for her situation. It was horrible and constraining and infuriating. Anzu knew she was deliberately neglecting to mention her missing family, but that it was also a big factor in her anger and pain.

Himitsu said that Anzu was a good girl who deserved to live a life free of interference from a disembodied voice in the back of her brain. She said that she deserved to learn how to dance and become a famous dancer and go to Broadway like she had always wanted. She said that if Himitsu ignored this and insisted on taking over or killing her to be set free if would mean that she had succumbed to her desires and turned into and evil spirit. Which Himitsu was very adamant on avoiding. She wasn’t the best person but she was a person nonetheless and she would wait until Anzu had passed on naturally. She said that even if she didn’t return home after Anzu’s death at the very least she knew something would happen and she could wait. She wouldn’t waste Anzu’s life like that for something she wasn’t even sure would be accomplished.

And that was also why she wouldn’t share Anzu’s body. She didn’t want Anzu to get used to being out of her body because it was rightfully hers and nobody else’s. She didn’t want Anzu to give it up so easily, just as she didn’t want the temptation of keeping it for herself. She wanted to remain the disembodied voice at the back of Anzu’s head, and if possible, she would have preferred if Anzu had just left her alone so that she could sleep her life away. But Anzu had to be a stubborn and curious kid, so she had relented otherwise she might have hurt herself and turned into a retard which wasn’t in the storyline. Not that she cared that much about the storyline but she didn’t want too much deviation otherwise who knew what might happen? The world was at stake here after all.

Anzu was stunned. She hadn’t realised that Himitsu had been thinking of so many important things all this while. She wasn’t quite old enough to understand everything that was said, but she realised that Himitsu was being very kind in her own way, and that meant keeping a distance from her. A wave of sadness flooded her and tears prickled her eyes, but she also felt a sweetness in her heart, because she was old enough to know that many other people would have been far crueller.

Kaa-chan may love her more than any other person in the world, but she thinks that without Himitsu’s consideration, there wouldn’t have been an Anzu for her to love so much. She thinks that Himitsu must have had a Kaa-chan to love her just as much and she could have taken hers if she wanted but she loved her Kaa-chan so much she respected her memory and made herself remain curled in the very back of Anzu’s brain so that Anzu could be only-Anzu and dance and play freely.

12-year-old Anzu wasn’t old enough to understand many things about Himitsu, but she knew enough to know that Himitsu could have taken her place in the Big Events until the very end of her life.

They can’t be friends but secretly, Anzu thinks it’s okay because Himitsu is more like her big sister anyway.

xXXx

On the day Yugi-kun completes the puzzle, Anzu is thrilled because she is going to meet an Ancient Pharaoh! She promised Himitsu never to tell him his name, just as she promised not to help Yugi-kun solve the puzzle. She’s understanding a lot more about the importance of achieving things by oneself, now that she knows the thrill of mastering a beat and how important it was that her teacher’s praise was for her and her alone. Himitsu knew nothing about dancing, she just knew that Anzu would love it.

Anzu doesn’t know how to thank her for giving her something and letting her own it completely. She always keeps in mind Himitsu’s advice about having her own opinion, but Anzu thinks even if one day Himitsu lies to her, it would most probably be for a good reason.  

xXXx

Anzu wanted to give Himitsu Duel Monsters, but Himitsu insisted that Anzu do everything by herself. She’s much better at it then Anzu, but even when the Big Five threatened to steal her friend’s bodies Himitsu didn’t budge. Anzu can’t quite resent Himitsu, even if she thinks that she could have at least _helped_ a little.

xXXx

Yugi started asking Anzu about Himitsu soon after, saying that the Pharaoh was curious about another spirit apart from him. They’d already met the Spirit of the Ring so he’d been a little concerned, even though Yugi had told him that Himitsu had been around waaaaaay longer and that Anzu didn’t have a Millennium Item. Other Yugi wanted to meet her, he said, but Anzu told him Himitsu never took over.

Then the Pharaoh came out and got a little angry that Himitsu would ignore him, but calmed down when he heard her reasons. Then he got concerned that he was taking over Yugi’s life but Yugi said it was okay and that they weren’t like Anzu and Himitsu anyway. They got over it but after that Anzu became a little more thoughtful.

xXXx

It wasn’t like Anzu could really hide her plans from Himitsu, so Himitsu knew exactly what she intended. That was why Anzu talked to her about it instead of pushing it on her like Yugi had during the ‘date’ with Other Yugi. Anzu wanted Himitsu to enjoy life a little, even if it wasn’t really her life, but more importantly, the Millennium Items may have something to do with her situation. After all, it was similar to Yugi’s, so perhaps the way to reverse it would lie with them. It was better than waiting until Anzu died and then realising that that wasn’t the solution too late.

Himitsu was wary at first, but she couldn’t help but agree. Because there were too many unknowns about her situation and like she said before, it wasn’t going to do much good if she buried her head in the sand and ignored opportunities like that.

So. For the very first time, Anzu won an argument with Himitsu.

As they shifted around, Anzu found the back of her own brain quite comfy. Himitsu didn’t take up a lot of space even when she was in control, mostly by choice. She was also very graceful. Anzu had a dancer’s grace, but Himitsu had a different grace. She could tell that Other Yugi liked it better.

Anzu felt a pang but she’d already known not to pin any hopes on the spirit because he would be leaving in the end. He’d been regal and firm unlike the boys her age, so she had admitted to some starry-eyed adoration. But he was a Pharaoh, after all, not a normal kid like her, so it was a given that he would be different.

Himitsu made a gesture with a subtle arch of her hand and Anzu committed it to memory so that she could practice it in front of the mirror. She’d never been able to picture Himitsu with a body before, but she was _so cool._

And she wasn’t even embarrassed when Himitsu chuckled at her.


End file.
